I’m reflecting on my father. Punjabi born and whisked away to Canada at the tender age of 8. Speaking no English in a far away land stolen from Indigenous, this desi boy’s nervous system was struck by culture shock, a new language and a radically different value system than his motherland. He used to tell me how the boys called him sand n-word but never went into too much detail. I wanted to know more but never knew how to ask.
My earliest and to be honest fondest memories was applying skin whitening cream on my face as he did his in the bathroom to appear more white. Oh how he loathed his body. He wore shoe lifts to be taller, wore baggy clothing to appear bigger, and wore blue eye contacts at times. He was very stoic and seldom expressed emotions until they blew up. I know this contributed to his early death at the age of 45 from a heart attack. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to understand why he lived as he did, related to his children so coldly, and why he viewed himself so poorly.
South Asians commonly experience psychological distress as physical symptoms – SAPHA
Statistics reveal that my father’s mental health struggles were not unique; they reveal a severe mental health crisis among South Asian men. Despite facing high rates of depression and anxiety—often surpassing those of other ethnicities—they are far less likely to seek help due to deep-rooted stigma. Instead, many turn to alcohol abuse, a coping mechanism that exacerbates their struggles. In the U.S., 1 in 5 South Asians suffers from a mood or anxiety disorder, and suicide rates among youth are alarmingly high, outpacing other Asian groups. For years, the mental health needs of this community have been largely ignored by researchers, leaving them to endure severe, often hidden suffering. What are the unique conditions that create these disparities?
Patriarchy and Toxic Masculinity
Patriarchal expectations impose a heavy burden on South Asian men, blending traditional masculinity with racial stereotypes. Bell Hooks describes patriarchy as forcing men into roles of control, strength, and stoicism. For South Asian men, this is complicated by Western stereotypes casting them as either passive or overly aggressive, creating a double bind that fuels inadequacy and resentment. Emotions like sadness or vulnerability are seen as weaknesses, leaving anger as the only “acceptable” expression under these toxic gender norms. This narrow emotional range isolates them further, intensifying frustration and reinforcing their entrapment within restrictive masculinity.
“Men are conditioned and taught since childhood to be strong and not show tears or become vulnerable,” Taneja said. (South Asian actor) – GeneSight
Colonial History and Its Psychic Impact
Colonialism left deep psychological scars on South Asian communities. Frantz Fanon noted that colonialism instills a lasting sense of inferiority, forcing South Asian men into rigid roles and creating generational shame and insecurity. Kelly Oliver, in The Colonization of Psychic Space, argues that colonial rule reshaped self-perceptions, extending control into individuals’ inner lives. Inheriting this legacy, South Asian men often experience unresolved anger linked to internalized shame and modern barriers, leading to cycles of frustration fueled by repressed feelings of inferiority and exclusion.
The Weight of Intergenerational Trauma
Colonialism and migration aren’t just historical facts for South Asian men; they’re living legacies. The pain and trauma experienced by past generations continue to shape modern identities, as patterns of emotional suppression and resilience are passed down through families. Frantz Fanon and Bell Hooks have both discussed how trauma becomes embedded in family structures, especially in communities that experienced collective suffering. For many South Asian men, this inheritance means grappling with emotions they may not even fully understand, further complicating their emotional landscape. This intergenerational trauma is often most accessible through anger, which serves as a protective emotion against deeper feelings of sadness, loneliness, or alienation. Lacking resources to process inherited trauma, South Asian men often suppress their feelings, with anger becoming their default response to pain, trapping them in a cycle of unexpressed and misunderstood emotions.
How Social Systems Fuel Mental Health Challenges
Social structural violence, a concept developed by sociologist Johan Galtung, describes societal conditions that harm people by preventing them from fulfilling basic needs. South Asian men face “symbolic annihilation” in Western media through stereotypes and underrepresentation, erasing their identities and reinforcing isolation. Lacking positive role models, they suppress emotions to fit limited roles that deny visibility and self-worth. This frustration from cultural invisibility often manifests as grief and sadness. In communities where vulnerability is unwelcome, anger becomes their accepted outlet, often leading to coping mechanisms like drinking, drugs, gambling, or porn.
Survival Through Masking and Code-Switching
To navigate marginalizing environments, many South Asian men resort to masking emotions or code-switching to fit societal expectations. Masking involves concealing one’s feelings and behaviors, while code-switching requires adapting to fit in. These tactics can be protective, helping men avoid conflict or discomfort in racially biased settings, but they often come at a high personal cost. Masking and code-switching disconnect men from their own body cues, including stress or anxiety, as they adjust to survive in unwelcoming spaces.
Over time, this emotional disconnection becomes habitual, leading anger to emerge as the only accessible outlet for unprocessed emotions. Though these behaviors help avoid external conflict, the unresolved internal toll persists as men struggle to assert an identity constantly under threat. Anger becomes a natural reaction to this symbolic erasure, expressing a need for visibility and self-acceptance.
Healing Through Embodiment and Safe Spaces
Healing for South Asian men begins with reconnecting to their bodies and finding supportive, safe communities. Somatic practices, like breathwork and mindfulness, help them access and release suppressed emotions stored over years. Polyvagal theory highlights the need for safety in emotional healing, especially as many men remain in a constant state of alert due to societal pressures. Safe spaces—through therapy, community groups, or supportive networks—enable vulnerability and resilience. These practices support men in breaking free from patterns of alienation and finding balanced ways to process and express their emotions.
Moving Forward: Community and Reconnection
For South Asian men, community plays a vital role in breaking isolation and anger. Connecting with those who share similar experiences fosters belonging and counters feelings of invisibility. Community groups, therapy collectives, and cultural workshops offer spaces for collective healing, free from judgment. Somatic practices within these settings enhance healing by increasing body awareness, helping men trust their physical cues and emotions. These approaches support authentic self-regulation, reducing the need for masking or code-switching. Through shared healing, men reclaim emotional expression, understand their traumas, and build a more connected sense of self.
Steve Bagga is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in Somatic Psychotherapy. With a background in cross-cultural psychology, systems theory, and post-colonial studies, he explores how race, culture, gender, and society shape mental health. A dedicated yogic practitioner, he integrates Eastern practices to support decolonization and critical consciousness. Currently, he runs a private practice in the Bay Area, specializing in somatic techniques and DBT for children and young adults.
Bibliography –
Bagga, S.K.( 2024). The psychopolitics of breath, gesture, and relationality. Annual Review of Critical Psychology Volume 17 pp 11 – 25.
Fanon, F. 1925-1961, author. (2008). Black skin, white masks. New York :Grove Press,
Haines, S. (2019). The Politics of Trauma. North Atlantic Books.
Johnson, R., Ndefo, N. (2021, January 26). When Agreement is not Consent.https://medium.com/rae-x-nkem/when-agreement-is-not-consent-118e8d2f279e.
Oliver, K. (2004). The Colonization of Psychic Space. Minneapolis, Minnesota. University of Minnesota Press.
