Developing Social Skills: Academic Intelligence vs. Emotional Intelligence

hi how are you doing well thank you for agreeing to be interviewed my pleasure um so can we start off with would you mind explaining the difference between academic intelligence and emotional intelligence absolutely um academic intelligence is what most people consider when they're thinking of uh intelligence it's looking at iq it's looking at knowledge base like having a high level of understanding and skill in math in social studies and sciences in maybe foreign language in language arts it's it's the grades it's how much you know um how well you're doing on an sat test how well you're doing on a an essay that is academic intelligence it's basically like what's your what is your iq and what grades do you get in school emotional intelligence though is much deeper it it includes how aware you are how self-aware you are how it how well you're able to manage your emotions um social awareness um can you see like how your words are affecting others how you're getting along in a group it's your relationship skills it's your communi ability to communicate effectively with others um it's being able to make resp responsible decisions um let's see it's also being able to talk about your emotions and so as you can see like those are much harder to assign a grade to but they are the foundation for to live a happy healthy successful life okay so what i'm hearing is that academic intelligence is more like stuff you learn in school and emotional intelligence is more uh how you socialize with others and it's more difficult to measure yes okay um so why do you value emotional intelligence over academic intelligence well i think because when i really look at people that focus more on emotional intelligence they they are the people that make the better leaders they are the people that are the better team players and i'm not saying like one is you know i'm not saying that your emotional intelligence that like you should ignore your academic intelligence no absolutely not but with emotional intelligence it's the foundation what i see out here a lot in santa clara county is there being such a focus on academic achievement but kids are super stressed out people are really overwhelmed overworked and stressed out because there's not any focus on their emotional intelligence on how to manage your emotions how to manage your time how to uh make good decisions and so i'm sorry i'm going on a little bit of uh no no no aside what was your question again it was why do you value emotional intelligence over academics why do i value i value it because i want for myself and my child to have a happy and healthy life and i think that with just focusing on academic intelligence you might be financially successful but i see a lot of people who are very unhappy and since my goal in life is to have a happy healthy enjoyable life i focus a lot on our our um emotional intelligence what i what i see a lot too are people that have you know that we do we define success by you know having a big house and a nice car in these great vacations but people are but their quality of life is not that good they work too much and they're too stressed out where i don't i don't uh that's not how i i uh what i consider success i consider success as being happy and enjoying life i think that's a great kind of ideal to hold and you recognize that your thought process is very different to a lot of parents here who are very tiger moms you know very you know work work work um so you said that you were looking for a better future for your own son so what were you looking for height for in high schools for your son well i i do value um academic achievement i do value academics absolutely but i find that most schools in this area are do have a focus on academics but i wanted one that also integrates uh emotional intelligence or we call it sel skills social emotional learning right into the classroom that it's not something that they do in addition to the academics but it's something that's integrated right into how you do it um and a lot of that uh falls on the responsibility of the administrations and the and teachers to learn how to integrate this because then he can have that academic achievement and learn all this content without the unnecessary stress and anxiety that i see that a lot of kids in the bay area suffer from that's very true and i'm gonna also point out that because i i don't feel that i feel that too many people are lacking in um [Music] their uh emotional intelligence that they're ashamed that they're stressed out and so they hide the fact that they're stressed or anxious but in fact they really are and right there that shows a lack of emotional intelligence because you know if you're feeling stressed if you're feeling anxious there's nothing to be ashamed about that it's just you know learning how to deal with it in a in a healthy productive manner and do you think that that traces back to the schools um [Music] yeah in the schools and then the families that we uh for kids yes it traces back to the families you grow up in and your schools but then as an adult i think it's up to us to open our minds and try to see that there are better things better ways to uh better and healthier ways to live and i think with schools that it is uh it is getting more popular but i see that the schools around the world that are the most successful have a really strong focus on emotional intelligence well thank you for your interview you are welcome okay