Emotional vs. Academic Intelligence: The Secret to a Stress-Free, Happy Life

0:00 hi how are you 0:02 doing well thank you for agreeing to be 0:04 interviewed 0:06 my pleasure 0:08 um so can we start off with 0:11 would you mind explaining the difference 0:13 between academic intelligence 0:15 and emotional intelligence 0:17 absolutely 0:18 um academic intelligence is what most 0:21 people consider when they're thinking of 0:24 uh intelligence it's looking at iq it's 0:27 looking at 0:28 knowledge base like having a high level 0:31 of understanding and skill in math in 0:34 social studies and sciences in maybe 0:37 foreign language in language arts 0:40 it's it's the grades 0:42 it's how much you know 0:44 um how well you're doing on an sat test 0:47 how well you're doing on a an essay 0:50 that is 0:52 academic intelligence it's basically 0:54 like what's your what is your iq 0:56 and what grades do you get in school 0:59 emotional intelligence though 1:02 is much deeper 1:04 it 1:05 it includes how aware you are how 1:07 self-aware you are 1:09 how it 1:11 how well you're able to manage your 1:13 emotions 1:15 um social awareness 1:17 um can you see like how your words are 1:20 affecting others how you're getting 1:22 along in a group 1:23 it's your relationship skills it's your 1:26 communi ability to communicate 1:28 effectively with others 1:30 um 1:31 it's being able to make resp 1:33 responsible decisions 1:36 um let's see it's also being able to 1:38 talk about your emotions 1:41 and so as you can see like those are 1:42 much harder to assign a grade to 1:46 but they are 1:48 the foundation 1:50 for 1:51 to live a happy healthy successful life 1:55 okay so what i'm hearing is that 1:57 academic intelligence is more like stuff 2:00 you learn in school and emotional 2:02 intelligence is more 2:04 uh how you socialize with others and 2:06 it's more difficult to measure yes 2:09 okay 2:10 um so why do you value emotional 2:13 intelligence over academic intelligence 2:16 well 2:18 i think because when i really look at 2:21 people that focus more on emotional 2:25 intelligence 2:26 they 2:27 they are the people that make the better 2:29 leaders they are the people that are the 2:32 better team players 2:34 and i'm not saying like one is 2:37 you know i'm not saying that your 2:38 emotional intelligence that like you 2:40 should ignore your academic intelligence 2:42 no absolutely not 2:44 but 2:45 with emotional intelligence it's the 2:47 foundation 2:49 what i see out here a lot in santa clara 2:52 county is there being such a focus on 2:56 academic 2:57 achievement 2:59 but kids are super stressed out people 3:02 are really overwhelmed overworked and 3:05 stressed out 3:07 because there's not any focus on their 3:10 emotional intelligence on how to manage 3:12 your emotions how to manage your time 3:15 how to uh 3:17 make good decisions 3:19 and so i'm sorry i'm going on a little 3:21 bit of uh no no no 3:23 aside what was your question again 3:26 it was why do you value emotional 3:28 intelligence over academics why do i 3:30 value i value it because i want for 3:34 myself and my child to have a happy 3:38 and healthy life 3:40 and i think that with just focusing on 3:44 academic intelligence 3:47 you might be financially successful 3:50 but 3:51 i see a lot of people who are very 3:52 unhappy and since my goal in life is to 3:55 have a 3:56 happy healthy enjoyable life i focus a 3:59 lot on our 4:01 our um 4:03 emotional intelligence 4:05 what i what i see a lot too are people 4:07 that have 4:08 you know that 4:11 we do 4:12 we define success by you know having a 4:14 big house and a nice car in these great 4:17 vacations 4:18 but people are but their quality of life 4:20 is not that good 4:22 they work too much and they're too 4:24 stressed out 4:26 where i don't 4:27 i don't uh that's not how i 4:30 i uh what i consider success i consider 4:33 success as being happy and enjoying life 4:36 i think that's a great kind of ideal to 4:38 hold 4:39 and you recognize that your thought 4:42 process is very different to a lot of 4:44 parents here who are very tiger moms you 4:47 know very you know 4:49 work work work 4:51 um 4:52 so 4:53 you said that you were looking for a 4:55 better future for your own son so what 4:57 were you looking for height for in high 4:59 schools 5:00 for your son 5:02 well i 5:03 i do value 5:05 um 5:06 academic achievement i do value 5:09 academics absolutely but i find that 5:12 most schools in this area are do have a 5:15 focus on academics but i wanted one 5:19 that also integrates 5:22 uh emotional intelligence 5:24 or 5:25 we call it sel skills social emotional 5:28 learning right into the classroom that 5:31 it's not something that they do in 5:33 addition 5:34 to the academics but it's something 5:36 that's integrated right into 5:39 how you do it um and a lot of that 5:43 uh 5:44 falls on the responsibility of the 5:46 administrations and the 5:47 and teachers 5:49 to learn how to integrate this 5:51 because then he can have that academic 5:54 achievement and learn all this content 5:57 without the unnecessary 6:00 stress 6:01 and anxiety that i see 6:05 that a lot of kids in the bay area 6:07 suffer from that's very true and i'm 6:10 gonna also point out that because i i 6:13 don't feel that i feel that 6:16 too many people are lacking 6:19 in 6:20 um 6:21 [Music] 6:22 their uh emotional 6:24 intelligence 6:26 that they're ashamed that they're 6:28 stressed out 6:29 and so they hide the fact that they're 6:31 stressed or anxious but in fact they 6:33 really are 6:34 and right there that shows 6:37 a lack of emotional intelligence 6:40 because you know if you're feeling 6:42 stressed if you're feeling anxious 6:44 there's nothing to be ashamed about that 6:47 it's just you know learning how to deal 6:49 with it in a in a healthy productive 6:51 manner and do you think that that traces 6:54 back to the schools 6:57 um 6:57 [Music] 6:58 yeah in the schools and then the 7:00 families that we 7:02 uh for kids yes it traces back to the 7:05 families you grow up in and your schools 7:08 but then as an adult i think it's up to 7:10 us to open our minds and try to see that 7:13 there are better things 7:15 better ways to uh better and healthier 7:18 ways to live 7:20 and i think with schools that it is uh 7:24 it is getting more popular 7:28 but i see that the schools around the 7:31 world that are the most successful 7:33 have a really strong focus on emotional 7:37 intelligence 7:40 well thank you for your interview 7:43 you are welcome okay