Navigating Life: A Veteran Raised by a Father with Schizophrenia Faces Retirement

0:033 secondsmy father was diagnosed with schizophrenia and i 0:099 secondsi found that out at a very young age i found out as i was growing up and then later on 0:1717 secondsi was always reminded of it uh that my thought that i was born like two and a half months early because 0:2525 secondsmy father decided that it would be a good thing to try and get money from my mother and she was like seven and a half eight 0:3434 secondsmonths pregnant at the time and he couldn't he couldn't uh catch her and he decided to throw 0:4343 secondsa lead pipe at my mother and she because it hit her in the head she was 0:5050 secondsbecame unconscious and there was a chance she was going to die and lose us at the same time so uh 0:5858 secondswe were me and my twin brother were born early um and this was all because of the mental issues that he was going through 1:071 minute, 7 secondsand honestly there was i mean just that alone was pretty it was pretty big did you find out about this incident 1:161 minute, 16 secondslike at what age were you told that this is what happened what did you always know um no i i didn't i didn't i had no idea 1:251 minute, 25 secondsuntil probably when i was a team as a teenager um i don't think it was something that was hidden 1:331 minute, 33 secondsbut um my mom was she was she liked to keep like some of those 1:401 minute, 40 secondsthings to herself because you know um maybe because of one reason like maybe embarrassment 1:471 minute, 47 secondsor just trying to protect us would have been a big reason uh she would have kept something like that 1:541 minute, 54 secondsfrom me and my brothers so um that was uh definitely a shock but 2:022 minutes, 2 secondsi mean my experience with my father was never never horrible never bad i didn't have any of those experiences 2:102 minutes, 10 secondsum until later on um but that was when he was closer to where he was gonna 2:182 minutes, 18 secondspass from this world it's just uh his mental health issues became worse as 2:272 minutes, 27 secondshe got older uh he was like diagnosed like 14 different types of 2:342 minutes, 34 secondsmedications and he didn't like to take them and he sometimes refused to take them 2:412 minutes, 41 secondsand because of that he got he got substantially worse um i know that like 2:502 minutes, 50 seconds10 10 years before he passed he was stopped he was driving to uh 2:582 minutes, 58 secondsto a city where we used to live when i was little and you stop by the officer and the 3:043 minutes, 4 secondsofficer comes up to him and asks him what are you doing sir because he was driving erratically and he's and he tells the officer i'm 3:133 minutes, 13 secondsdriving to the city to see my uh well ex-wife and my kids and 3:213 minutes, 21 secondshe was thinking i was like five and i was already an adult by the time this happened and 3:293 minutes, 29 secondsthis is what happens when you don't when he wasn't taking his medication and when he was diagnosed i i guess early on 3:383 minutes, 38 secondshe was also in the navy but as far as that i never heard any issues but the treatment way to treat mental health 3:483 minutes, 48 secondsissues has changed over time as well um and it's been it's very interesting i i 3:563 minutes, 56 secondsdidn't do a lot of research but it wasn't anything that would have been good to treat mental health 4:034 minutes, 3 secondsum yeah no so sorry to hear that i mean that's really a hard thing right 4:104 minutes, 10 secondsfor a child to see his father in that state and to hear what happened to his mother is also must be really traumatic for you but the 4:174 minutes, 17 secondsgood thing is that you forgive him and you actually loved him too right you understood that he could not help it yeah i mean i've 4:264 minutes, 26 secondsi've always had trouble coming to grips with that because i mean my parents were my world when i was obviously when i was 4:354 minutes, 35 secondsgrowing up and i it's just my world revolved around them yeah and i always 4:424 minutes, 42 secondsi can't say i've always tried but i always liked tried to listen to my mother um 4:494 minutes, 49 secondsand uh i think also because of the way that my dad was um i was more shut in i stayed away from 4:574 minutes, 57 secondsall other people i didn't really have a lot of friends i didn't have a lot of friends so i think that that was also 5:045 minutes, 4 secondssomething that added to um you know those mental health issues and the anxiety that came a little bit with it 5:135 minutes, 13 secondsyeah i mean i can imagine right like as a child you see your father is different from the friend's father so it must be pretty difficult for you 5:215 minutes, 21 secondsto even like face that fact right i'll see how actually yeah 5:295 minutes, 29 secondsgood you were also talking a little bit that after you retired from the military right uh how's life been after that 5:375 minutes, 37 secondsso um it was difficult and i i mean i wouldn't say it's a daily event 5:455 minutes, 45 secondsbut i mean the military is completely a different way of life uh i liked i liked talking to other 5:535 minutes, 53 secondssoldiers our people just people and uh we had good rapport i was able to talk 6:016 minutes, 1 secondto them they talked to me and we had good conversations but since i retired that went away yeah 6:096 minutes, 9 secondsand i'd have to say i was i mean that that brought a lot of anxiety um not to say 6:166 minutes, 16 secondsthat i i mean i don't have a lot of friends and i mean that start all started with i'd have to say the mental health issues 6:246 minutes, 24 secondsthat my dad had i'm not i shouldn't blame anyone but i mean it's just the way that i was raised and what i saw and who i am so keeping 6:346 minutes, 34 secondsbusy really helped you uh yes discipline and keeping busy was probably really good for your self right 6:436 minutes, 43 secondsand now you have all the time and you're trying to figure out what's the next phase of life being at this age is really hard yeah i i think it's in i think it's 6:526 minutes, 52 secondsdifficult for anyone but i mean trying to overcome something that's you know in in your genetics 7:007 minutesis uh it's scary too right you don't know some things that you got maybe out of control 7:087 minutes, 8 secondsi i try not to think of that my mom has has told me though if if ever 7:167 minutes, 16 secondsif there's ever a time where you don't feel right please seek help and i'm like just thinking about that now is like 7:247 minutes, 24 secondsthat's not good to hear but are you not seeking help at all um well 7:327 minutes, 32 secondsme and my wife we go to therapy uh because i mean i mean though they just 7:407 minutes, 40 secondsyeah actually better i mean because of going to therapy i'm able to express myself better 7:487 minutes, 48 secondsand that's actually been a plus from from going to therapy yeah i mean 7:557 minutes, 55 secondsyeah no i understand where you're coming from and i'm so glad that our cause is being able to help you find some meaningful work and 8:038 minutes, 3 secondsyou're a great contributor and i appreciate everything that you do for us thank you great thank you so much 8:198 minutes, 19 seconds[Music]