Acculturation and Code-Switching: What It’s Really Like Growing Up Between Two Cultures

Pizza or Biryani

“Pizza or biryani?” the woman in the clear plastic head wrap asked. Well, which one should I choose? The savory, greasy taste of toasted bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese, a symbol of American culture. Or the spicy, unique flavor palate of basmati rice and chicken cooked to perfection, a tradition of India. Once again the woman said, “Pizza or biryani?” I quickly looked behind my shoulder, saw a line of Indian women decked out in their saris and jhumkas, and softly mumbled, “Biryani.” Like most incidents in my life, I was once again put at the crossroads of two very contrasting cultures; they were like water and oil, never quite able to mix.

“Oh, I Guess this is Normal!”

The term for balancing cultures when growing up is called acculturation, and when I learned it for the first time, it gave me a sense of relief. What I did, code-switching, changing how I spoke, acted, and presented between the two communities, had always made me feel like I was being fake to myself, like I was living with a split personality. But it turns out it was just a simple matter of adjusting to different environments. For the longest time, I felt like I lived as two different versions of myself. Around my Indian friends and family, I feel pressure to prioritize academic excellence, competition, and constantly striving to be the “perfect” version of myself. Around my non-Indian friends, I often feel expected to be more carefree, focused on having fun, less concerned about grades or long-term goals, even when that feels uncomfortable or unnatural to me. For a long time, I believed this divide was something I simply had to accept, never fully being one person, always shaped by the expectations of whichever community I was standing in.

But learning the term acculturation gave me hope that this doesn’t have to be the case. Researchers have found that young people balancing two cultures often experience identity conflict, family pressure, and stress from feeling they don’t completely belong in either culture. According to the National Library of Medicine, over 281 million immigrants and many more refugees and Indigenous populations live their lives balancing cultures every single day. That number isn’t just a statistic to me, it’s proof that this tug-of-war between two worlds isn’t a personal flaw or failure to fit in anywhere. It’s a shared, deeply human experience.

The Weight Nobody Talks About 

“Language, identity, place, home… just different elements of belonging and not-belonging.” — Jhumpa Lahiri, the Pulitzer Prize–winning Bengali-American novelist and celebrated Indian-American writer.

What makes acculturation so exhausting is that it’s invisible work. Nobody sees the split-second decisions before you speak: Do I pronounce my name “Meg-na” or “Mayg-na”? Do I sound or look “white-washed”? Will they get the same joke I told my parents in Telugu the night before? You are never just existing. You’re constantly crossing a border only you can see, packing up one version of yourself at the checkpoint and unpacking another on the other side. And like any crossing, it wears you down over time. It’s the kind of tiredness that doesn’t show up on the outside, which almost makes it worse, because you start to wonder if you’re the only one who feels this stretched thin.

There’s also a quieter grief underneath it. Choosing to speak English at home might feel like losing a piece of your Ammama’s language. Choosing biryani over pizza at a party might feel like you’re standing out when all you ever wanted was to blend in. But that grief isn’t a sign that acculturation is a bad thing, it’s just proof of how much you care about both sides of yourself. 

Discovering What Helped Me

Naming it. Just knowing the word “acculturation” changed something for me. It turned a private, confusing feeling into a documented, studied, shared human experience. Read about it and realize you are not struggling alone. 

Finding my in-between people. For a long time I thought my only options were “Indian friends” or “American friends.” But some of the most grounding, deeply interconnected relationships I’ve built are with other kids straddling between two cultures. Filipino, Korean, Nigerian, Mexican, it doesn’t matter which two, because the feeling of being in-between is universal and translated across all cultures. Find people who don’t need you to explain the exhaustion, because they already know it. 

Integration over Alternating. For the longest time I had believed that living with two cultures meant living two completely different lives. However, letting the cultures blend instead of jumping between them has proven as a much healthier and positive option; a claim that has been thoroughly developed by researchers who published in the reputable National Library of Medicine. Practicing such a claim could mean playing Bollywood music while doing American homework. Or bringing garlic naan to a potluck instead of a “safer” dish. It proves that you’re allowed to be one whole person who carries two cultures at once.

Seeking Support. Whether it’s a school counselor, a therapist, or even your own family members. There is great power in saying the quiet parts out loud when we are often trained to bottle them up inside. If you ever need somewhere to start, 988 (the Sucide & Crisis Lifeline) also offers support for anyone navigating a hard time, not just a crisis.

If you’ve ever felt caught between two versions of yourself, I plead with you to hear this: you are not fighting this battle alone.

Choosing Both 

If that woman in the plastic head wrap asked me today, “Pizza or biryani?” I think I’d finally say what I couldn’t back then, both. Not because I’m indecisive, but because I’ve stopped believing I have to pick a side to “fit in.”

Acculturation isn’t a problem to solve or a phase to grow out of. It’s a lifelong practice of crossing back and forth, integration, and celebration. You’re allowed to love both worlds while carrying your head high. As the goal was never to choose, but to realize you never had to.

Meghna Rangeneni is a high school junior with a focus on psychology and neuroscience, active in youth mental health advocacy as a NAMI Tri-Valley Youth Advisory Council member. She writes for Rcoz, exploring cultural identity, acculturation, and what it means to find her own path as a South Asian girl in the world.