I Thought I Couldn’t Keep Up- But I Just Didn’t Know How to Deal With It

My Story:

I remember staring at my homework late one night, knowing I still had hours of work left and a zero-period math class waiting for me the next morning. I wasn’t lazy. I wasn’t behind because I didn’t care. I simply didn’t know how to keep up anymore.

At the beginning of the school year, I made a promise to myself that I was going to stay on top of every assignment, turn everything in on time, get good grades, and exceed expectations. I genuinely believed that if I stayed organized and worked hard enough, I could handle whatever came my way. I made time for myself, stayed ahead on homework, and everything seemed manageable. But as the months passed, I started to realize that it wasn’t just going to be school anymore that I had to only focus on. Now I had to be in clubs, sports, leadership opportunities, daily extracurricular classes, and advanced courses. I remember thinking “That shouldn’t be difficult. Everyone else is doing it, so I can too.” So I kept saying Yes to further commitments or opportunities.

How it affected me:

By the time November arrived, I realized it wasn’t nearly as simple as I had thought.

I would spend the entire day in school stressing about everything I needed to do, come home, attend my classes, finish practices, and only then—around eight o’clock at night— I had to finally begin my homework…Then studying and projects.

But by the time I’d finished everything, it was late into the night. I would go to bed tired, only to wake up and realize I had to do it all over again. I remember sitting at my desk rereading the same paragraph over and over because I was so tired that I couldn’t process what I was reading. Sometimes I would stare at my desk unable to decide what to start with because everything felt equally overwhelming. I’d sit down to work and immediately feel anxious—not because I didn’t want to work, but because I didn’t even know where to begin.

As finals approached, everything became even more overwhelming. I was stressed, sleep-deprived, anxious, and constantly worried that I was falling behind. Even when I was taking a break, I wasn’t actually resting—I was stressing about homework. When I was trying to sleep, I was thinking about the next day’s deadlines.

All of a sudden, I thought I didn’t have time anymore to go on a run, or read a book or anything else, because I convinced myself I didn’t have time for them anymore. I was constantly in a bad mood, but I forced myself to hide it because I didn’t want anyone to know it was challenging for me to deal with everything.

“Everyone else is doing it… so why can’t you?”

“Maybe you’re just not smart enough.”

“Maybe you’re just bad at managing your time.”

I was afraid that asking for help would make people think I wasn’t “capable enough”. I didn’t want people to think I couldn’t handle what everyone else seemed to manage so easily. I hoped that somehow I’d magically become more productive, and finish everything, and somehow my stress would disappear.

It obviously didn’t, and I was just adding stress on top of stress until it felt impossible.

Reaching out:

It was never a good feeling or the right choice to keep everything to myself. Feeling so overwhelmed one afternoon, I finally broke down to my mom. I confessed how I was trying to balance everything I unfortunately committed to and how I didn’t know what to do. My homework didn’t suddenly disappear. I still had assignments, practices, and commitments, but It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Once I finally said everything out loud, my thoughts weren’t racing all at once anymore. Instead of beginning to panic I could actually think about what I could do next. My problems hadn’t disappeared—but they finally felt manageable, and my mom was able to help me work through everything and turn down anything I just couldn’t do.

Why does it matter?

Research from the American Psychological Association shows that school is one of the leading sources of stress for teenagers, yet many students struggle silently instead of asking for help.

I think that’s something many teens need to hear, that everyone manages stress or pressure differently. 

Just because someone else seems like they’re handling everything perfectly doesn’t mean they actually are. We often compare ourselves to the version of others that they choose to show, while criticizing ourselves for everything we’re struggling with behind the scenes. You don’t have to deal with things exactly the way everyone else does.

According to the US national public health agency (CDC), nearly 40% of U.S. high school students experience persistent sadness or hopelessness. Of that, 20% seriously considered attempting suicide, 9% reported attempting suicide.

“1 in 5 adolescents in the US report that they needed mental health care but didn’t receive it.” This highlights the importance of addressing mental health, or getting to reduce barriers.

A 2019 study published in Pediatrics found that adolescents with high levels of school and family connectedness were 48%–66% less likely to experience mental health problems and other serious health risks later in life.

You don’t need to deal with it alone.

Seeing all of this shows us just how much it can help each other, and everyone who might need it. Being able to make positive changes to our lives now, can help anyone for the rest of their lives. No matter how big or small you’re feeling, it’s not going to get better when it’s bottled up.

You don’t have to carry everything by yourself. For me, talking to someone—whether it was a parent, a sibling, a friend, a teacher, or another adult — really helped me, and helps me still, so much. It can also be one of the hardest things to do. It can be uncomfortable, or make you feel vulnerable. You might worry that your problems aren’t “big enough”, but whatever the situation is – it’s totally fine to feel a certain way and need to talk it out.

About the Author:

Shravya Rengan is a HSCM at RCOZ, friend, and dedicated high school student at Emerald High, Dublin, CA