Passion vs Paycheck, a common mental dilemma. How to juggle both

0:00 so i just met you uh today so i don't 0:02 know much about you 0:04 all i know is that you had a career an 0:07 education 0:08 in it and then you made a switch to 0:11 something different and i also know that 0:13 you come from a very privileged 0:14 background so just tell me about your 0:17 journey about what made you uh you know 0:20 jump this ship and take this leap of 0:23 faith like tell us a little bit what 0:24 happened 0:26 okay 0:27 um 0:28 so i did my engineering from rv college 0:31 of 0:31 uh engineering um and uh after that we 0:35 got placed automatically we get a lot of 0:37 placements in the from the college 0:39 coming from a very good uh college that 0:41 it is 0:42 uh so i got placed on cognizant and 0:45 after working for uh 0:47 almost a year or something 0:49 i started asking some 0:51 uh questions which i have never asked 0:53 before mainly because things were not 0:55 working very well for me and things were 0:59 already fall into place till then 1:01 like not working in this end like in the 1:02 job uh in your energy yeah so i was not 1:06 doing great like and i was uh and i 1:08 figured it's not that even if i don't 1:10 know the work it's not like 1:13 we can't learn it right we obviously can 1:15 learn it yeah and and i figured that 1:18 i don't have the passion to learn it 1:20 yeah um i don't have that 1:23 interest 1:24 to you know go for it and do a little 1:26 more research and see how i can get 1:28 better that was missing so and i figured 1:32 it's not that it's completely missing in 1:34 my life in all areas there were other 1:37 areas like i was a theater artist uh no 1:40 actually i became a theater artist after 1:42 this after getting into it and i figured 1:45 i'm very interested there and um and 1:48 spirituality i'm very interested in how 1:51 humans interact and how human behavior 1:54 is and all of these uh things are 1:57 something that i'm really interested in 1:59 so 2:00 so it it took me quite some time to you 2:04 know ask these questions and figure out 2:05 but obviously uh leaving the job is was 2:08 definitely not easy i got a lot of 2:10 pressure from my parents and and uh they 2:13 made it very clear that they're not 2:15 going to support me 2:17 financially 2:18 and i have to look out for myself so i 2:22 was okay with it so that is the 2:25 thing um that is the brave step that i 2:27 did take though it was really not easy i 2:30 was very tempted many times to go back 2:34 and you know um just take it because uh 2:37 it's it's uh 2:38 you get the salary properly yeah you get 2:41 a security of the salary right i mean 2:43 that's a big thing yeah 2:45 but as a um as a artist or as a yoga 2:49 instructor i don't have that but uh i 2:52 feel like if you are passionate enough 2:54 and if you are willing to work enough 2:57 towards it 2:58 you you will definitely 3:01 find a way 3:02 there 3:03 that was like you know it seemed that 3:05 you were almost torn mentally like you 3:07 know you wanted to leave it 3:10 what was it that made you like what was 3:12 that incident you have any incident that 3:14 happened 3:15 i'm sure there was something that made 3:17 it trigger like you were not doing great 3:18 at your work you were probably 3:20 constantly like under stress because 3:23 your mind was not there but what was 3:24 that one incident that made you jump the 3:26 ship 3:28 um actually to be very frank it was not 3:31 like one incident it was like many 3:34 incidents like and i was like also uh 3:37 exploring this uh egoic outlook uh of 3:41 the whole uh thing that is there 3:44 associated with it like having a 3:45 software job is said to be a very good 3:48 uh uh 3:50 thing for the outside world like for the 3:52 society yeah so 3:54 and it is and my parents were proud of 3:56 it as well so they didn't wanted me to 3:59 leave it just because they can say that 4:01 their daughter was working in a software 4:03 company and and i it didn't even matter 4:06 to me for me it like 4:08 it doesn't matter at all but for them it 4:10 mattered so much then i realized i'm 4:12 probably doing it for them and even when 4:15 i got the job i actually told the 4:17 interviewer person believe it or not 4:19 that why they asked me why do you want 4:21 this job i said my father wanted me to 4:23 do this job 4:24 i actually told this 4:34 yeah so i actually came to this point 4:36 where like why am i doing what am i 4:38 doing for whom am i doing this i mean is 4:40 that really what matters and then i 4:42 figured if if i'm really happy gonna be 4:45 really happy and content within myself 4:47 don't want i spread that happiness 4:50 around and probably my parents will 4:52 maybe they're not okay right now but 4:54 later it might it will be infectious and 4:57 they will probably be okay with it 5:00 you know that's the that's the faith i 5:02 had though i was not really sure and it 5:05 was uh it's not really easy also i felt 5:08 like maybe i asked i keep asking myself 5:11 right that what made me you know take 5:14 this uh audacious uh move 5:17 maybe it's because i'm privileged also 5:18 and you know 5:20 like i don't have this nagging feeling 5:22 that you know i'll be destitute in some 5:24 time 5:25 like in my old age or that i have a 5:28 dirty blanket right you have a security 5:30 yeah 5:32 like you know probably things worst to 5:34 worst you know some my parents would be 5:36 there you know they'll figure it out 5:38 they'll give me some property or 5:39 something 5:41 you know that that is always like that 5:43 though they i know that i wouldn't ask 5:46 uh and my parents made it here that they 5:48 wouldn't give so 5:49 like i know that's there so yeah 5:53 probably i took that faith into 5:54 consideration and took this step but 5:57 although 5:58 they have not supported me very frankly 6:01 they didn't uh they made sure they 6:02 didn't give me a penny and i supported i 6:05 made sure i worked and supported myself 6:08 throughout even now and even uh like 6:11 right now also i'm pursuing my higher 6:13 studies i'm doing masters in 6:14 anthropology and in yoga 6:17 so both of them i'm doing it myself like 6:20 i'm not asking anybody else so 6:23 so yeah that's how it's going on yeah 6:26 yeah no this is really fascinating 6:28 because i think 6:30 basically what you're saying is 6:32 you worked in this high-paying job just 6:35 to satisfy 6:36 everybody else rather than yourself 6:39 yes 6:40 yes that 6:41 that's what made me realize like you 6:43 know 6:44 i have to figure out what i want to do 6:48 like uh is this spiritually 6:51 am i really concerned is that really 6:53 that drives me yes so that's why yoga is 6:56 like 6:56 always like yoga is always something 6:59 that is always attracted to attracted to 7:01 it's not that i plan to you know take up 7:04 yoga and i was like okay let me be a 7:06 teacher i didn't do that 7:08 but uh even when i did a ttc like 7:10 teacher training program i was not sure 7:13 like you know because it's a vast 7:15 subject and uh you need a lot of 7:18 authority or some something uh to start 7:22 teaching teaching is not very easy thing 7:24 so i did take quite some time like two 7:27 years or three years and um i was so 7:30 part-time acting till then and 7:32 everything and then then i started 7:35 teaching when i figured that yes i have 7:38 to really do this and yeah 7:40 yeah no 7:41 i mean no richness sorry i qualified you 7:44 actually what you're saying is so truth 7:46 to so many people including me you 7:48 really have to find the passion right to 7:50 be happy 7:52 and i can see this in your face you've 7:54 got this glow about you and i'm so glad 7:56 you found your passion it took a little 7:58 bit of struggle but thank you so much 8:00 for sharing your story and you know 8:03 telling everybody that it's okay to 8:06 not be financially well off but find 8:08 your passion and it's not easy to do 8:10 that 8:10 yes lucky you found it pretty easily 8:13 yes because even today like today 8:15 morning i every day morning i get up and 8:17 i actually read this like this is the 8:20 yoga raha of nathu muni okay and i want 8:24 to read this every day i want to get up 8:27 and i want to read this and nobody is 8:28 obliging and like nobody's forcing me to 8:30 do it yeah i want to leave this right uh 8:32 it's written by krishnamacharya if you 8:35 want let me ask you how did you even 8:36 discover that yoga was your passion 8:40 so it just 8:41 um so i just knew i'm interested in it 8:45 that is all i didn't 8:47 know know that this is what i want to 8:48 pursue in i didn't know but 8:51 i saw there is an earning opportunity 8:53 also and uh but i was always i was 8:57 always spiritually slightly inclined 9:00 so um and i was good in yoga 9:03 very flexible body so i feel like yeah 9:05 probably i can do this you know and and 9:07 when i started into it i figured like 9:10 yes it gets more interesting and more 9:12 interesting and more interesting day by 9:14 day the many aspects to it and i want to 9:17 learn all of that 9:19 probably if i was still in idea i don't 9:21 know if i would get up you know sleep 9:23 read 9:24 some programming language of the morning 9:26 five o'clock i don't know if i would be 9:28 doing that you know or driven to do that 9:31 i don't know 9:32 yeah 9:33 no no true truth to that because what 9:36 you're saying right everybody wants to 9:38 find that passion and i think you come 9:40 from a privileged background besides 9:42 that you have found it and that's the 9:44 i would say it's a very nice thing to 9:46 find that yes i would say that not that 9:50 i've received any support for it in any 9:52 way nobody have actually supported me so 9:56 it's been very confusing i'm not i'm not 9:58 uh exaggerating about it it's been 10:01 extremely confusing and nobody supports 10:03 you you would start to question it a lot 10:05 more and see like maybe maybe i'm wrong 10:08 like am i really correct you know you 10:10 start a lot of self inquiry but uh 10:14 very thankfully uh 10:16 i have received help and i've needed the 10:18 most so and uh 10:21 i would say in that way also i'm very 10:23 privileged i have seen that not 10:25 everybody just just like that receive 10:27 help them when they want to when they 10:29 need it and and i'm probably just very 10:32 blessed uh to receive guidance and say 10:35 that you know what you're okay 10:37 you're you're if you're feeling right 10:39 about this trust your instincts 10:42 yeah and go for it yeah great gradually 10:45 yeah go ahead 10:46 i've actually gone to many astrologers 10:48 as well you know when you feel hopeless 10:50 and blessed 10:51 you could go to astrologers 10:56 person who studied science is still 10:58 believing in astrology and everything i 11:00 don't actually i don't but you know you 11:03 get to a space where you feel utterly 11:05 hopeless in life and you don't know if 11:08 what you're doing is fine or because we 11:10 are not really 11:12 empowered to take decisions in our life 11:14 as in in your in indian society uh for 11:18 especially for girl child and not 11:20 empowered so when you when you're doing 11:22 something like this you get a lot of 11:24 doubt so 11:26 yeah i've gone through that 11:30 self-doubt i don't think there's any way 11:31 to get around it right that's 11:33 everybody's questioning everybody's 11:36 think like 11:37 am i doing the right thing right 11:39 all the time 11:40 i know